Through absolutely no fault of my own, my Mother is apparently a little upset with me after she received a phone call from the Miller family complaining about the recent visit I had with them last week.   (see entry:     Another One Bites The Dust )

I knew that I hated the entire Miller family for a reason, besides being both self-centered and slightly mentally retarded, they are obviously just common old gossips, whose single minded goal is to get me in trouble.

Now being a grown adult male I can attest that no matter what age you reach, you never want your Mother angry at you.  Nothing good can come out of it and so I figured that the best way to resolve this was by staying away from my parents place until my Mom had forgotten about the little unfortunate incident.

This seemed to be working perfectly fine until my Dad called me up late Saturday afternoon asking if I would take him grocery shopping as his car was in the shop getting a new transmission and Mom was too busy with her volunteer work to wait around for him to get the car fixed.

As much as I hate going anywhere near a shopping mall and especially on a weekend, I figured that this would be the perfect way to make amends and Mom would realize what a great guy I was once again by helping out when needed.

It was a sweltering hot summer afternoon and all I could think of was getting this stupid task over and done with and then meeting some friends at the bar to pound a few cold beers into me.

I reckoned if I picked Dad up right away and headed over to the mall by their place, I could go with him & be in and out again within 45 minutes and then still get to the pub early enough to meet up with John, Kevin and Samantha for a few pints and then a night out on the town.

I was in a really good mood looking forward to the evening that lie ahead as I had not been out in quite a long time nor had I seen much of my friends lately.

I grabbed my keys and raced over to my parents place approximately 10 minutes after we had hung up the phone.  Dad got into the car and loudly slammed the passenger car door behind him.

"Hey Dad." I greeted him cheerfully, as we pulled away from the curb.  "I don't have a lot of time this afternoon so can you please make this shopping trip of yours quick so I can get to another appointment that I have."

My father had a scowl on his face a mile long and turned to me angrily and spat "I am so sorry 'your Majesty' for having to inconvenience you, but I just thought that after we spent 18 years feeding & clothing you that you may be able to spare a couple minutes to help out your old parents when they are in need."

I knew from experience that whenever Dad plays the '18 years feeding & clothing you' card, that he is in a real argumentative mood and should not be messed with.  I quickly attempted to diffuse the situation by changing the subject.

"So Dad", I asked hesitantly. "Any news on your car?  When do you pick it up from the shop?"

I noticed a previously unseen vein begin to pulsate in my fathers left temple.  I realized immediately that this could not be good.  I braced myself for the verbal onslaught which I knew was imminent.

"I called them just after I spoke with you and it looks like I need the engine rebuilt as well as a new transmission.  Those bloody gougers won't be happy until they have all my pension money & send me to the poor house."  Dad responded sounding even more enraged then before.  "Crooked as a dogs hind leg - these mechanics, let me tell you."

He then looked around my car, and muttered bitterly "We all can't afford to ride around in the lap of luxury in a brand new car like you do, boy.  I'm on a fixed income you forget, being a retired senior citizen."

Aside from him being in a terrible mood, I am not sure why my Dad would make such a statement.  I mean how could I forget he is a retired senior citizen, he reminds me and everyone else of that fact whenever the situationtends to favour it.

"Dad", I protested.  "My car is almost ten years old, it can hardly be considered as 'new'.  And also if you recall, I bought this car used."  

But Dad being in a foul mood, would hear no more of it and we drove the rest of the way in silence until I pulled into the Safeway grocery store parking stall.

"We're here."  I exclaimed, pointing out the damn obvious.  But Dad just sat staring at me for a minute.  Finally he spoke, his vein slowly beginning to pulsate again.

"Are you out of your head, boy?"  Dad exploded.  "I just finished telling you about all the expenses I have with my bloody car and then you bring me to one of your 'highfalutin' stores where they charge you top dollar for the pleasure of just walking in the door.  You must be either a very wealthy man or just a total idiot, I'm honestly not sure which.  Take me over to the Save-It grocery store on the hill.  I have a lot of coupons and they give a fellow a square deal if you pack your own bags."

I know when Mom does the shopping, which has usually been every week since I have been alive, she always goes to this Safeway store.  I am not sure why Dad needed to go to this discount place, but I was definitely not going to ask him.  Not today.

I didn't want to risk giving my father a stroke by asking him why the HELL he didn't tell me where he wanted to go in the first place, nor did I mention that his discount 'Save-It' grocery store on the hill was a good seven miles away, thus eating up any perceived savings he may have realized, on the gas money getting there.  No sir, being the good son or at least pretending to be the good son that I was, I simply put the car in reverse and backed out of the stall to head over to this previously unmentioned destination.

I glanced at my watch and noticed we had already wasted a half an hour.  This was brutal.  I have to get to the pub shortly and I am stuck in sweltering Saturday afternoon rush hour traffic with a miserable old man that is taking his frustrationsout on me.

I figured I would try and hurry this thing along by speeding up a bit and getting out of this traffic jam as best I could.

"Slow down boy."  Dad ordered.  "Your crazy driving is going to kill us all.  Remember the proverb of 'slow & steady wins the race'."

Between Dad's multiple psychotic mood swings, the pointless proverbs and his annoying back seat driving, I was now getting very agitated.  I had places to be and was stuck in this bloody traffic.  I then looked down at my gas gauge and noticed that I was pretty low and needed to fill up.

"Damn it" I swore under my breath as we pulled into the gas station.  "Is this nightmare of an afternoon ever going to end?"

As I was just finishing filling up, Dad went into the station and came out with a huge smile on his face.

"Hey boy", he smirked waving a $100 bill in the air.  "Look what your old man just won on a scratch ticket.  My luck is finally turning!"

After paying for the gas we headed back into the hot summer traffic jam, moving only a couple of feet in the next hour.  My evening was sure to be ruined now as everyone would be gone by the time I finished this stupid errand and dropped off my Dad back home with his beloved discounted groceries.  

I looked over at my father in the passenger seat and he still had a wide happy grin on his face.  I faintly heard him humming a very annoying happy tune under his breath.  Damn fool.

Apparently my luck was turning too, but sadly in the opposite direction as I was now in a completely foul mood.  I then suddenly felt a previously unknown vein in my left temple begin to pulsate.