So todays topic is one that I probably should stay away from since it seems to be so highly controversial. It is an arguement that no matter what you say, you can never win since almost everyone has a preconceived opinion on the subject and are not going to change it.

Most sensible sober individuals would simply avoid this topic like the plague, but since I currently possess neither of those two qualities, here goes my views on gay marriage.

I do not think I can technically speak on behalf of God, so I cannot honestly tell you what God would think about gay marriage nor can I tell you what it will do to the traditional institution of marriage since I cannot (as yet) see into the future.

If I did have the ability to forsee the future, it would not be to see the impact of gay marriage upon society but rather something a little bit more simple and self-serving such as, what are this weeks winning lottery numbers?

You see usually if something doesn't affect me I do not give a damn. But this does. So I do have an opinion on this subject and I am 100% against it for the following personal selfish reasons.

A)   Forget about my team having a hockey banquet at the end of the season, every dingy little restaurant, hall or cummunity center will be booked up solid for years in advance to host all these additional wedding receptions once gay marriages are legal
B)   Chinatown on a Saturday night, well scratch that off my list. Too many couples must have their beloved egg rolls, ginger beef and 8 course meal. Meanwhile I end up at home boiling an egg cuz my favorite restaurant is closed for their damn fully catered wedding reception
C)   Taxes. They will have to go up since someone has to make up the shortfall for all these tax breaks that married couples now enjoy since there will be that many more married couples to subsidize
D)   No way will I be able to go see the strippers any more on a Saturday night, now it will be filled up not only with the regular stag parties but now with all the lesbian stagette parties vying for attention
E)   Now single woman will have the pool doubled for people wanting to commit & get married. Where does this leave me? I don't need to hear a phrase from someone I'm dating like "Even my friend Mary is getting married and she's a lesbian". That somehow does not make me, a man who shuns committment, look very good at all. And believe me, I don't need anything else to make me look bad.
F)   I am sure this somehow will have an effect on the price of leather goods, just not sure how or why though.
G)  Lawyers fees, what about lawyers fees? Gay marriage could possibly lead to gay divorce which in turn will cause a rush on the legal system and rates to skyrocket - where does this end??
H)   Wedding licences, formal outfits, clothing, limo rentals and even the price of confetti will all jump in price as demand increases. I cannot begin to tell you all the financial residual affects that this gay marriage business will cause. It will be a cottage industry.
I)   What if I have a gay friend and they announce they want to marry their "partner" and actually have a wedding. If they invite me I will be forced to purchase a gift.

It seems I am the only one suffering here and I am not even gay!

No, I cannot condone something that is costing me money wherever I go. Stop it, Stop it I say. Stop it now.

Yes we need more than just "love" to be a pre-requisite to marriage otherwise we will be giving the green light to every gay couple or even polygmist group to wed and then where will I be with my Chinese food?

Has anyone even considered me and my damn Chinese food in all this ? I think not !

So maybe, just maybe lets go back a couple steps and rethink this whole mess out and start over.

And if anyone conducting a survey asks me for my opinion on gay marriage, I will simply tell them "I am against it for traditional reasons" (that tradition being I want to keep a couple of bucks in my wallet and eat Chinese food).

But they don't need to know that much detail !